december 15 . 2020

Faultlines

I didn’t see them

Did anyone?

Did anyone else see this one coming,

That the very steadiness we stand on every day would crack right in two, three, four, twelve, twenty places around us?

Under the surface, just waiting for the shaking that would make a decision finally – to close up, or to split open

What a relief?

To have the clarity

To have the definition of the spaces, even if they are split, ripped to shreds, cut up into sharp shards that cut and rip and split if you’re not careful, if you don’t watch your step

If you don’t watch your words

If you don’t watch your tone

Actually, …maybe you should watch your thoughts

Your heart

Pretty sure it doesn’t matter much – what you say and what you do with those words, with that tone – if the words and tone inside your head is sharp, ripping, cutting

Because then you’re harming two: the “other”,

and you.


I guess the quake was inevitable

And we probably needed it.


At least it’s all exposed now

At least there’s less pretending now

At least the truth is out now

At least maybe now, or soon,

Inevitably?

Little trickles of healing can start to drip into those great expanses that stand between us

Water always

always

eventually

finds the lowest places.

march 31 . 2017

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I am a birthday-loving person.

I have always believed in taking the entire day to celebrate. It wasn’t until a couple years ago and working a professional job that I realized – oh – it’s not normal for other people to take the day off from work on their birthday? Whomp-whomp. There goes that tradition.

Luckily, this year my birthday fell on a Saturday. And there was never a more perfect birthday. I do find myself saying that every year, so I guess they just keep getting better and better. Continue reading “march 31 . 2017”

december 30 . 2016

Devon and my journey of waking up to racism

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For about four months now, I have been pressing into the uncomfortable place that lies between ignorance and motivating-awareness.

Before, I turned a blind eye, a deaf ear, a walled-up heart that wouldn’t let in deep sadness and others’ pain that I can never fully understand. It was a deep expanse of Unknown, this thing that I was sort of aware of but didn’t acknowledge. Continue reading “december 30 . 2016”

october 21 . 2016

being present : seasons

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My commutes on Thursday mornings are eeaaaarrrrllllyyyy. I fondly refer to myself as a “morning person” but a 5am alarm can be jarring at times, even for me.

The drive time from my home on the mountain to the little school where I recruit, enroll, and advise is anywhere from 18 to 45 minutes. This particular Thursday, I took a different route to work and pulled up a podcast I recently discovered (I know, sooo late to the party). Continue reading “october 21 . 2016”

october 14 . 2016

 

being present : the phone

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I have a favorite bookmark.

This bookmark was given to me by a dear friend from my season of living in California. I became the fourth and youngest member of a prayer group/book club, made up of ladies who loved Jesus and wanted to know Him more. Debbie, Grace, Justina and I met for 2 years, every Thursday, reading and discussing incredible books like Intercessory Prayer by Dutch Sheets, The Utter Relief of Holiness by John Eldredge, and The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer. One Christmas, Justina made us each a gorgeous ribbon bookmark. I had never seen one before and was completely captivated. I think this is maybe where my obsession with gold began. Continue reading “october 14 . 2016”

august 26 . 2016

san diego lovin’

I. Ocean Beach at sunset is pretty perfect. The girls had never been on a California beach before, so of course they were overjoyed when they could play in the waves for hours and “not get hypothermia”. As the sun went down, I was content to sit on the shore and watch them, breathing deeply of the salty air and letting every tension melt into the sand. Continue reading “august 26 . 2016”

august 18 . 2016



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// flirting with “minimalism”

I’ve decided that I just want to live with less. I have more than enough clothes, make-up, toiletries, jewelry, decor. I disliked having clothes that I never wore (did the whole, backwards-hanger-if-it’s-not-forwards-in-a-year-you-won’t-wear-it-again deal and WOW too many!) in my closet because I might need it someday. I hated knocking over bottles of unused beauty products under the bathroom sink when I was putting folded towels away. So I started purging stuff! Continue reading “august 18 . 2016”