keeping account of my life
the clarity winter brings
Desiring peace, wisdom, and fluidity in my thoughts, I have chosen to practice stillness and awareness this winter. I choose to see the beauty in this winter season, embracing the chill that these cold days have brought us and think about how I’m able to see past trees with their branches bare when in other seasons I am seeing more of the trees themselves.
Both perspectives are beautiful. Continue reading “january 6 . 2017”
Devon and my journey of waking up to racism
For about four months now, I have been pressing into the uncomfortable place that lies between ignorance and motivating-awareness.
Before, I turned a blind eye, a deaf ear, a walled-up heart that wouldn’t let in deep sadness and others’ pain that I can never fully understand. It was a deep expanse of Unknown, this thing that I was sort of aware of but didn’t acknowledge. Continue reading “december 30 . 2016”
Jesus, my Prince of Peace • part 3
When December rolled around, I was still sure that I wanted to move back home and transfer to another university near my hometown, even though I was finding more and more small victories in the day-to-day. I made plans to visit an admissions counselor there while on Christmas break.
After the meeting with that counselor, I decided that I could handle one more semester in California. Then I would seek the transfer and move back where I felt safety and support from my family.
Upon returning to school, I shared the decision with my friends, who all understood completely as they’d observed my struggle over the past several months. But something stopped my planning in its tracks. Continue reading “december 23 . 2016”
Jesus, my Prince of Peace • part 2
I am amazed when I consider that once the stronghold of fear was identified in my life, things seemed to get worse before they got better.
My panic attacks increased to three to five every day. The results ranged from simply having to leave class because I felt like the air had been sucked out of the room to total incapacitation and being bedridden, limbs feeling like concrete blocks that wouldn’t have moved if I begged them. Continue reading “december 16 . 2016”
Jesus, my Prince of Peace • part 1
Advent is well upon us and as I consider and anticipate the celebration of the coming of our precious Savior, I am overwhelmed when I think about the names He was called when he was promised to us by the prophet Isaiah…
…Wonderful Counselor…
…Mighty God…
…Everlasting Father…
…Prince of Peace…
Perhaps to you, peace means the absence of noise in your house. Perhaps it means no violence in your space, your community, your land. Perhaps it means unity between you and your spouse, your significant other, your child, your parents, or your dearest friend.
For me, peace means the presence of the One who rescued and healed me of the oppression of anxiety. Continue reading “december 9 . 2016”
gather
I have a habit of doing tablescapes for any family gathering we have, regardless of whether there is an event to be celebrated or not. I like to believe that every occasion spent together – not just the holidays – is special because people are special. Dressing up the table and making it lovely and inviting helps to communicate that to those I love. They are worth my time and attention to prepare in this small way. Continue reading “december 2 . 2016”
being present : silence
– Michael Longley, Irish poet
