I want to speak to Process.
Journey. Space. Time elapsing.
The distance between the Word and the Word’s fulfillment.
Can we be real?
All I heard for years was that breakthrough was happening NOW, just reach out and claim your promise, just look at the Father and BELIEVE BELIEVE and God, help my unbelief!
And I never asked Him . . . is that true for me? Is it that easy?
I did what everyone around me seemed to be doing: taking those exhortations and begging begging begging God for it to be true!
I rarely asked Him . . . is this what You’re doing? Is that what is happening right now? Fulfillment of my dreams and desires and of the Words that I believe You spoke? If I did ask, I didn’t listen for the answer. Because I wanted so badly for the answer to be “Yes!” and what if it wasn’t?
It took far too long for me to internalize the truth that God’s answers to prayer are generally not immediate. (If they are for you – lucky lucky!)
God seems to be far more interested in my process . . . in my journey . . . the stroll, or the run, or the drive toward the fulfillment of His promises to me. He seems to say, “Love . . . patience. Patience,” so often. I am begging and He is smiling. I am impatient and He is seeing me and constantly loving, and wrapping me up in His arms still. “We will get there.” Abraham waited for Isaac for twenty-five years, for crying out loud. Israel was in bondage to Egypt for four hundred. Please, God, no, but I’m seeing now.
I’ve heard that the journey is what prepares us to be able to handle the promise’s fulfillment.
I’ve heard that if we were to be given the promise’s fulfillment right away . . . it wouldn’t be the best thing. We wouldn’t be able to carry it well.
So I’ve decided to stop being disappointed with His timing. I’ve decided that this roadtrip may be mostly about the trip instead of the next destination. About the mix CD I made with songs that make me feel alive and full and present. And the scenery I haven’t seen before, speeding past. Maybe I’ll decide to pull off and enjoy the view for a few minutes instead of thinking, “No, I have to get there on time.” Maybe I’ll look the waitress in the eye as I’m waiting long for lunch, and say “No, there’s no rush, there’s no hurry,” and really mean it. And the company. His company.
Maybe I’ll ask Him more, “what are You doing? Where are You going? Can I come along?”
Rest in the process. Rest with Him and smile back at Him and enjoy His love. That’s what I’m planning to do.