march 26 . 2014

“Hiding Out In Oregon”

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I didn’t know how much I needed to be hidden. 

I didn’t know until I had been here, in this new place, for three-ish weeks . . . with about two and a half friends, a precious family, a chiropractor, and a part time job. 

. . . what I left behind was about seventy-five friends, a chiropractor, a part time job, an amazing church, a marvelous network, etc. 

 

And I’m just as tired in both places.

 

What.

Absolutely, my fatigue can be chalked up to the fact that moving is within the top three most stressful life experiences.

Absolutely, my feelings of being overwhelmed with what little I have on my plate could be because I’m still getting used to cooking for four instead of one / rush hour traffic / taking the longer route to the grocery store by accident / a lesser amount of “my people” who share all of my core values and are tracking with me consistently.

Absolutely, my exhaustion after a family gathering, the only major activity in a span of about five days, could just be a result of trying to figure out who “I” am here, as opposed to who I was when I lived here seven years ago.

 

Whatever the excuse may be . . . the fact remains that my introverted side is the only thing I feel right now. And I am embracing it completely.

And saying “no” to a lot of commitments and ministries that would have sounded pretty good a year ago.

And not looking for ten more friends at this point.

And not getting out of the house much.  

If anything, I am happier being this introvert. For now, anyway. 

Maybe this will all pass and I will start acting more like I did when I lived in California. 

But maybe (read, hopefully), I will come to a better middle ground . . . not one extreme or the other, but a happy medium where I can be kind to myself and be kind to those around me and rest and laugh and breathe and love really, really well. 

 

 

**Redding-folk: Please don’t miss my heart here: I do really miss you and love you. Promise! :)**

 

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